a very good week

sometimes I can convince myself that I'm capable of mental housecleaning. Usually this happens after a long spell of stress--for me this means aimlessness, frustration, non-motivation, and the sentiment that "I haven't made anything I've liked for months" whether this is the case or not. At some point all of that frustration culminates into a moment of conviction, in which I have a memory lapse, forgetting all sense of accomplishment and happiness I've felt in the past month, and decide I need to DO something about my pathetic situation.

Whether my situation is ever dire enough to warrant such a gung-ho feeling that I am "trying to turn my life around" is questionable. However, this transformation periods always lead to better things, among them serious productiveness (I become prolific in the studio for at least a week or two before things balance out again), an extreme natural high (which takes days to turn off), and an overall confidence in any social situation in which I find myself.

Such a shift took place a couple weeks ago. Although, really, nothing has changed I just feel a bit lighter because the problems that were in the back of my head have disappeared, and I do feel more invested in my artwork. Essentially, what did this was a few good conversations with people I respect and a pleasantly cold walk home that night. Then I had my open studio (with plenty of feedback) and a relaxed weekend at home with Jake and the cats, no work.

The Monday after I threw myself at some blank 12" by 12" panels and a 6' by 4' wooden support with some gouache, markers, cut vellum, and all the energy I'd saved over the weekend. Good things happened, and I suspect that it had to do with making art because I like to make art and a complete lack of concern for what kind of art I think people would like me to make. Of course, when you do that, your teachers always like your art better.

I think making art is how I keep my head clear--it's borderline meditational. When I'm allowing my hand to do what it is compelled to do, I lose total track of time, feel exhausted when I'm finished. Things I see and feel make a little more sense as a result of thinking about them as my hands mix colors or make permanent lines on a page.

The next few posts will showcase the studio progress that has occurred since last Monday.

composition in string no. 6

A sort of map of the string sculpture, in gouache (my first time using it.) Two paintings overlapped. Some sections cut out. A drawing in charcoal began each painting. The thought process was almost entirely about the color once I started painting. I treated the drawings somewhat like coloring books.

30" by 60" (approx)

getting mileage out of that string

Now I'm painting from the string spaces. Which is a challenge, when I'm working in oil and refuse to use a three haired brush. I don't think I'll be painting them as forms after this one, because, to be frank, I think blown up, fat looking string in a painting looks cheesy. I may be using them as flat color in the next painting as a way to break up the composition geometrically.

But the solvent saturated paint that being thrown around in the background of this piece, SO much fun!

string things

I've been toying with the idea of a visual representation of a single life, specifically the progression from innocence to experience. This is the form I've come up with.

String, a tack, all strings supporting a leaning frame and converging at the tack on the studio wall. To the left is a good explanation of how the object looks in my studio space.

When the viewer looks up into the frame, they are put in the small position of an innocent person, probably a child but not necessarily. Everything they see is within the frame, and there is very little color on their side of the frame; in their experience. But, as most people do, there comes a point where one must leave behind the framed world and jump into the mess of knots, twisted threads, uncertain roads.

Here, and from almost any other viewpoint around my composition, there is more color, more understanding, and a greater sense of the whole, the way of things. There is also more confusion, but it is confusion that is tangible and could be worked out.