Moleskine June 2009-April 2010

I figure it's been a while since I posted a sketchbook update.  I'm going to start casually drawing more, so here's a dump of what's gone into the sketchbook between the last time I was using it a lot (see Fabriano 2008-2009) and the next run (which will start tomorrow.)

 The untitled title page of the moleskine.

 I began writing as much as drawing in this sketchbook.  I find I need both languages to be honest in my expressions.

keys.  I obsessed over their forms for a week, nothing visually successful came of it, except this drawing.  

Now I can identify the keys on my chain by the pattern of their teeth.

I was thinking about Da Vinci for a while (see lung drawings)

but I don't remember what old Roman architecture had to do with it.

Man on the bus.  Liked his hat.

Maya Lin at the PaceWildenstein Gallery.  Maya Lin used to be controversial.  You know why?  Janet Kaplan told me a lot of old white guys were uncomfortable with the fact that a design made by "an Oriental" won the contestfor the government-funded Vietnam Memorial.

Final Fellowship Collection

And...we've reached the end.  I'm exhausted, but in the way I am exhausted after having a charged and therapeutic conversation.  I've had many of those throughout this process, not only with the work as I make it, but with Brianna, my studio-mate, when I don't think I'm going to make it to the end.  (Thanks, Bri.)  Well, I'm at the end.  Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to prepare all these panels for hanging (I'm pretty sure the gallery director isn't going to go for thumbtacks).

 

a very good week

sometimes I can convince myself that I'm capable of mental housecleaning. Usually this happens after a long spell of stress--for me this means aimlessness, frustration, non-motivation, and the sentiment that "I haven't made anything I've liked for months" whether this is the case or not. At some point all of that frustration culminates into a moment of conviction, in which I have a memory lapse, forgetting all sense of accomplishment and happiness I've felt in the past month, and decide I need to DO something about my pathetic situation.

Whether my situation is ever dire enough to warrant such a gung-ho feeling that I am "trying to turn my life around" is questionable. However, this transformation periods always lead to better things, among them serious productiveness (I become prolific in the studio for at least a week or two before things balance out again), an extreme natural high (which takes days to turn off), and an overall confidence in any social situation in which I find myself.

Such a shift took place a couple weeks ago. Although, really, nothing has changed I just feel a bit lighter because the problems that were in the back of my head have disappeared, and I do feel more invested in my artwork. Essentially, what did this was a few good conversations with people I respect and a pleasantly cold walk home that night. Then I had my open studio (with plenty of feedback) and a relaxed weekend at home with Jake and the cats, no work.

The Monday after I threw myself at some blank 12" by 12" panels and a 6' by 4' wooden support with some gouache, markers, cut vellum, and all the energy I'd saved over the weekend. Good things happened, and I suspect that it had to do with making art because I like to make art and a complete lack of concern for what kind of art I think people would like me to make. Of course, when you do that, your teachers always like your art better.

I think making art is how I keep my head clear--it's borderline meditational. When I'm allowing my hand to do what it is compelled to do, I lose total track of time, feel exhausted when I'm finished. Things I see and feel make a little more sense as a result of thinking about them as my hands mix colors or make permanent lines on a page.

The next few posts will showcase the studio progress that has occurred since last Monday.